escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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