You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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