It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
