I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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