So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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