I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
