Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
