i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
