I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize