I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Blood and glitter go together right?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
