I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize