The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
