Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
