she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
