I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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