We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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