i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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