hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
