hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
