If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
