So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He? As in you personified your dick?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize