Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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