what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
