I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
