I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
