idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
