I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
