they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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