Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
