Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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