my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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