even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
