is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
