i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
