Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single

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(256): View more from Alabama

It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?

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(813): View more from Florida

Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?

(813): View more from Florida

Because one of you banged your stalker

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