PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Come on in and take your pants off
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