Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
