loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
