that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I have post one night stand depression
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
