the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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