Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We need to feng shui this bitch.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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