You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
