She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
