I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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