ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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