the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
