Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
