You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
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I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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