Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
