I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
