ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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