This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
