I saw his package. It spoke to me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
