'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
