And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.