Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
