The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize