You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
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Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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