Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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