I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
