I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
PANTIES FOUND
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize