pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I supernannyed him into submission
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
