We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize