so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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