if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
