Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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