I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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