at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
